Thoughts on Wintering
My hands, covered in wool mittens, grip my dog’s leash tightly. Cold wind bites through my long pants, the cheap athleisure material failing to defend my skin against the winter air. My tough Carhart jacket and thick Ravenclaw scarf remain as my only shield protecting my fragile pockets of warmth from the cruel outside world. As my podcast episode continues to ramble through my earbuds, my sweet Mollie Moo pulling me along our winter walk with the same vigor as she does in the summer if only to try and escape the cold, only one thought repeats on a loop in my head:
“When the f%!# is it going to be summer again?”
I’m a summer girl, through and through. Although my northern German heritage and rural Kansas background has built my skin to tolerate the cold of winter best, to the point where I’m sporting a light jacket while my friends remain bundled in layers of heavy wool, I spend most of my winter time daydreaming of summer’s triumphant return. Where the heat of an unforgiving sun blazes against my skin, transforming it into a glowing tan, and I can open the windows of my home to let fresh air keep me cool. In the winter, I’m forced to remain locked in my home, tucked under old sweaters and quilts. My electricity bill soars as I send my heating system into overdrive. My previously tanned skin turns white and dry in the harshness of the winter chill. It’s isolating and miserable to remain locked in one location in my endeavor to endure the ice and cold of a suddenly frozen wasteland.
But there’s also peace in such isolation.
I recently had the pleasure of enjoying Katherine May’s “Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times” which discusses the value of such isolation as inspired by the season of winter. While I disagree with some of her more extreme concepts, such as completely retreating from society in times of crisis (#extrovertprobz) or jumping into a frozen lake to feel alive again (absolutely not), I agree that winter represents a much needed break from life when it becomes available. Summer, like life, is an ever demanding presence. The nice weather makes one feel obligated to enjoy it while it lasts. To take longer walks with your sweet, but slightly hyperactive, pup. To spend the time socializing with friends, either sitting on city park lawns while enjoying food truck rallies or hopping between breweries. Each day is filled with back to back activity in the hopes of maximizing the enjoyment of the nice weather, the privilege of warmth before the early darkness of winter forces us into retreat. While I enjoy such non-stop activity, usually being the friend dragging everyone else to each and every event, there’s also the risk of being burned by such prolonged exposure to the sun.
Without rest, there is no enjoyment in activity. Sure you can take a break during the summer; that’s why reading in my hammock is one of my favorite hobbies. But to truly winter, you have to accept rest while building oneself for the endurance of prolonged isolation and darkness. You learn how to layer thick blankets and fuzzy socks to protect yourself against the cold. Your mind has to become occupied with what is available to you in your hidey hole away from the trials of the season rather than the distractions of an outside world. You fill your stomach with savory soups and bitter tea to ensure your inside remains warm if your outside cannot manage. In turn, this creates strength in character and security in oneself. If you can survive the freezing isolation of winter, both mentally and physically, you can endure everything else demanded when summer returns.
I’ve gone through many wintering periods in my life, both intentionally and unintentionally. Sometimes I beg for the wintering period, a reprieve from the difficulties of a non-stop period of my life, and other times the wintering period finds me, such as when I initially retreated from YouTube and the social media public eye. Each time, I only emerge like a blooming flower from the wintering period when I make the proper preparations for it. When I actually spend the time enjoying the peace of my isolation, keeping myself cozy despite the discomfort of such self-prioritization, and ensuring I stay warm despite the cold. If I do not take care of such endurance, I wilt once the ice melts. I return to the season of summer feeling like a shadow of myself prior to the wintering and it takes more work to allow the sun to renew me to my former glory.
Rest does not exist with activity. Rest only exists when a break is taken.
Obligatory pet tax photo. But look how cute Mollie is in the winter! Please walk her for me. It’s so cold outside and she will love you forever.
So this winter, I’m enjoying the comfort that comes with wearing my favorite sorority sweater for five days straight. I’m binge reading any and every book I can get my hands on while hiding from the freezing darkness under my piles of quilts. I’m throwing my favorite veggies, meats, and seasonings into my crockpot to keep my belly as warm as my outside so that my full body can survive the ongoing chill until my beloved summer sun returns. This period of wintering too shall pass, as it always has. The winter chill may still bite on occasion, but only when the preparations to prevent it fail and even then I know I can always find warmth again. Summer always returns after each winter, without fail.
However, if someone else wants to volunteer to walk my dog when it's cold out, I won’t complain.